Are You Blaming Others for Your Relationship Problems?

At no time in history have there been more single men and women, one of millions of single adults are reflecting on their efforts to find true love. They want it, but some are still holding onto past hurts and disappointments.  Many have made mistakes and exercised poor judgment but at some point, you have to move on and stop assigning blame.


In the current sexual marketplace, blame seems almost par for the course with individuals running about online/offline whining and blaming others for their lack of success in love, which will only work to further hamper them romantically.  It is always someone else’s fault that their love life is suffering. 


Whatever you have been telling yourself about why you have had problems finding a lasting loving relationship, if you have put the blame on others, you are missing the mark. While I am not saying that your ex was an innocent party in the deterioration of your relationship, the most important place to look for the answers to your love problems is YOU. If you stop blaming others and look at what you can do differently, your love life will shift for the better.


There are men that blame their mothers who they claimed lied to them about women. I do know men that were told what women want is a really nice guy who bends over backwards and caters to their every whim.


After being rejected repeatedly and watching the not-so-nice guys reaping sexual rewards with minimal effort or investment. Therefore, instead of taking a few cues from the guys that were more successful with women they continued to be overly nice and overly supplicating. Ensuring that women would continue to have very little to do with them.


I believe those mothers actually meant well when they advised their sons to win women in this manner but after repeated failure the light bulb should have turned on…making things much clearer for these hapless guys.


Also, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard guys recounting their experiences with women (“psycho bi**hes” to be precise) who took advantage of them and put them through the ringer time and time again.  However, instead of saying to themselves, “I see a disturbing pattern here maybe I should seek some kind of professional help so that I can stop choosing these types of women.”


Nevertheless, instead, it is that all women are crazy and that there are no sane women out there, now every woman they get involved with is constantly under “psychotic bi**h watch”. Really, what woman in her right mind (sane) would want to deal with this long-term? You know what could be the issue…you and your bad choices in women.


I know women who love to play the blame game as well.  They have been making poor choices in men for most of their dating lives. These women have been choosing men who will not give them a commitment. Really, what should you expect from a guy you are having no-strings sex with. 


I hear stories of how these women were constantly cheated on and lied to, mentally and physically abused by the men in their lives. No one deserves to be treated poorly just because they decided to enter into a relationship with a horrible person.


However, I have to say, one of the worse things is being in the company of women who have allowed themselves to be jilted constantly because their outlook on love and life tend to be extremely negative and just so damn bleak that you want to get far away from them, as if, they had the plague. You know the ones who yell from the rooftops, “all men are dogs”, and “all men are pigs.”


Granted there are some men who do behave badly but men of that sort are just being who they are. I mean, seriously, if you had just left them alone they would not have been a problem for you in the first place.


Men and women who are having issues finding a good partner need to get themselves together mentally and emotionally so that they are able to make better selections.


I believe we choose to get involved with those who mirror us emotionally and psychologically. 


Darwin’s theory of Natural Selection pretty proves this quite true for most of us. He theorized that attraction is not only physical it is psychological/mental. As cited by Geoffrey Miller in his book, The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature. We often select mates based on our own psychological makeup. You know, smart, dumb, emotionally disturbed and sane people are most likely to seek out those who share their mindsets for romantic relationships—whether consciously or subconsciously. Please, make no mistake about this.


I would like to suggest:


- Stop blaming others and making excuses


- Stop trying to avoid change.


- Stop trying to control the uncontrollable.


- Stop talking down to yourself.


- Stop criticizing others.


- Stop running from your problems and fears.


- Stop living in another time and place.


- Stop trying to be someone you’re not.


To sum it up, stop blaming others for what you have or don’t have, or for what you feel or don’t feel.  When you blame others for what you’re going through in your love life, you deny responsibility and perpetuate the problem.  Stop giving your power away and start taking responsibility for your love life.  Yes, introspection can be very scary at times but blaming is just another sorry excuse, and making excuses is the first step towards failure; you and only you are responsible for your choices and decisions.










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Tags: dating, the current sexual marketplace, thedatingnook

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